My friend’s mum used to work as an account officer for a sex toy company and she received LOTS of freebies. On said friend’s 18th birthday, her Mum made a pass the parcel, and under each layer was a sex related item. I got lucky (pun intended) whilst unwrapping my layer – it was a vibrator. This was my gateway into the world of sex toys (thank you Jodie’s mum) and my collection from there on only got larger.
However, sex toys and female sexual pleasure are not openly discussed. Another friend told me that in first year she mentioned to her male flatmate she was buying a bullet (a very small vibrator) to which he responded ‘ew’. Male masturbation or ‘wanking’ has been part of peer conversation since secondary school and is completely normalised. However, I never heard anyone at school discussing female masturbation or even female sexual pleasure in general. This, I’m sure, is not because girls didn’t do it, but because we were made to feel embarrassed for doing so. From a young age, women learning to repress their sexuality as slut-shaming is ever prevalent in our social structure. Therefore, it is unsurprising that only 38 percent of female university students have orgasms during sexual encounters, whereas 91 percent of males do (The incidental orgasm, Wade LD). During the familiar university drinking game ‘Never have I ever’, a popular statement is ‘Never have I ever faked an orgasm’ to which every female in the room laughs and drinks; it is just accepted and expected that women will not orgasm during sex.
Once we begin to normalise female masturbation, we acknowledge that women are sexual beings and do enjoy sex. Sex toys are the perfect gateway for discovering what it is you like and how you like it. Whether you need a quick ten-minute break from your essay writing, or you’d like to have a new experience with a partner, there are lots of fun ways to reach the ‘big O’. Most sex toys are relatively inexpensive. Many come in at just under the £20 mark and Ann Summers also do a 10 percent discount on Unidays! Life is too short to have average sex, and if you or your partner are struggling to reach climax, a sex toy could be the perfect answer. Bite the bullet and buy a bullet.