The key trend at Alexander McQueen seemed to be the emulation of a toilet roll doll; you know, those cone shaped dolls people used to collect coupons for? Well, imagine a human sized one of them. Now imagine it covered in feathers. Nice one, McQueen, very practical. When am I meant to wear that? Whilst I’m popping down to the Co-op for some milk? Out on the town? I wouldn’t fit through the doors of Tao, let alone get anywhere near the bar. Imagine trying to go to the loo …

Louis Vuitton was no better. They sent their models sashaying down the catwalk wearing bog-eyed sunglasses reminiscent of Willy Wonka. The aformentioned sunglasses were teamed with hats that the designers had seemingly found when they broke into the Mad Hatter’s house whilst he was out buying cupcakes for his tea party. Oh fabulous. If I wore one of their catwalk looks to the library someone would call the men in white coats to quietly remove me.

Vivienne Westwood damned our fashion flair as a nation during London Fashion Week this year when she stated that “Britain has never dressed so badly.” On the rise of disposable fashion, she concluded that “people have never looked so ugly, we’re so conformist.” She has a point. If you’re a girl, raise your hand if you own a vest top from Primark. If you’re a boy, raise your hand if you own some chinos from Topman. I thought so. You can put your hands down now …
So, it can be said that some of the creations which were sent down for Autumn/Winter 2012 catwalks were indeed ridiculous. However, that is a good thing: fashion is ridiculous. And that is what makes it so bloody brilliant.

For more on London Fashion Week 2012, click here.