“I’m too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts …”

So maybe Right Said Fred’s one hit wonder did not get every detail right, maybe some of the lyrics were just awful, yet they did send us one fundamental message: spruce up.

To put this entire concept into perspective, imagine you’re a young woman out on the town. You and your girlfriends walk into a club, only to look around and see that all the guys are sporting stained t-shirts and five o’clock shadow. How would you feel? Disappointed, disgusted, and well and truly turned off.

Guys, lads, and bro’s: take 30 minutes (and that is all it really takes) out of your evening to put a bit of effort into your attire. Preparation for a guy’s night out, or “lads on tour” as some might say, requires three relatively well-known rules: shit, shave & shower. And yes, it should be done in this order.

You could perhaps add “shirt” in to this saying, as this clothing item goes a long way to not only make you feel far more important than the guy in front of you wearing that infamous stained t-shirt, but it also makes you stand out to the ladies, which for “lads on tour” is obviously a good thing. The shirt in question should be 1) ironed and 2) different.

The standard white shirt is as old as the term misogyny, anyone who wears a white shirt on a night out is fairly unadventurous, unoriginal, and will likely be dressed the same as the other 20 men in the queue. The advice here is to wear something which stands out. A deep blue/purple (or burple as it is known) is always a good choice, or maybe try for some sky blue colours, even a light shade of pink, anything which is adventurous yet does not compromise your “manhood”. This tactic is of course known as “peacocking”, flaunting yourself to the opposite (or same) gender, and both genders can take note of this tactic.

Of course, if you are going all out, particularly for a birthday, stag, or social, there is only one choice for men everywhere: suit up. Barney Stinson, the crowd favourite from How I Met Your Mother, has imparted a wide spectrum of advice over the years, yet suiting up and taking charge of that dance floor cannot be beaten.

Dizzee Rascal once said to the whole world: “fix up, look sharp”, and this is a message which we all should, nay, we must, remember for every night out. Women are tired of seeing dirty, greasy, and smelly guys when they are out, let’s do them a favour and put in the effort which they deserve.