So, I used to have an on-off relationship with one of my friends. It was purely physical; besides stuff we did as friends, we never went out on a date or anything like that.

It lasted several years before we just stopped really seeing each other. Now, having a friend with benefits is sometimes seen as some kind of idyllic position with none of the hassle of a romantic relationship but all of the sex. I didn’t really see it that way personally, and I think if you’re trying to replace another relationship like this it’s probably going to end badly.

Myself, I think my whole friend with benefits experience started mostly out of boredom and mutual sexual compatibility. We knew each other, we figured out we could enjoy each other that way, so we went for it. It’s been a while since it ended now, and looking back I think it went pretty well, I can’t remember it ever affecting our friendship, maybe it even led to us seeing more of each other. It allowed us to explore our sexualities without undue pressure or need to go find a romantic partner we might not have wanted.

Would I do it again? I don’t know, probably not, I’ve moved on from where I was and so probably wouldn’t find it so appealing. I had a safe relationship with that friend and wasn’t too worried about anything in our future. Now I’d probably not want to get involved in something that wasn’t serious. But I suppose it also depends on who you know. I don’t think either of us ever developed feelings for each other, but if we had it probably would have been smart to talk about it as early as possible, rather than letting things continue.

So, friends with benefits probably isn’t for everyone, but I think it can be good for you if you are honest about what you’re getting into.