New Year’s Day: traditionally intended for hangovers, long walks and the consumption of ridiculous amounts of Christmas holiday leftovers. Whatever you spent your day doing, I can guarantee that it wasn’t quite as bizarre as mine…

Concrete’s Sex Survey is known for the ridiculous, the rude, and the downright invasive questions that we put to the whole of campus. So over the Christmas break the editorial team were feeling the pressure to come up with an equally eye-catching and attention-grabbing way to advertise the survey across social media.

I’m not quite sure who suggested that we involve our own body parts in this endeavour, but as the only one who happened to be anywhere near a hotel with appropriately sexy white bedsheets in time for us to launch the survey, it fell to me to convince my family to let me drape underwear over their toes and take photos reminiscent of foot fetish porn.

It’s testament to the number of stupid things I’ve done over the years for Concrete that none of them actually batted an eyelid. But ensuing comedy aside, all 69 questions of the survey eventually attracted a record-breaking 1000+ respondents, and produced a wealth of insightful, astonishing and occasionally appalling data on just what we all get up to behind (not always) closed doors. I’m not saying it was my toes that swung it, but I’m not saying it wasn’t either…?

We hope we’ve managed to be entertaining, informative – only mildly pornographic – and at least slightly original. It can be a tall order to make stats on the popularity of doggy-style generate more than giggles, or to find a fresh angle on the clichés of the ‘Five Ls’, but we’ve done our very best. And at 5.42 (18 minutes and counting before print deadline) I’m just happy to be heading home and leaving the discussion on the finer points of Tinder etiquette to you guys.

Happy Valentine’s Day!