Features, Venue

How to answer the front door

It’s that time of the year again when you can expect some impending knocks on the door, and to be greeted by various creatures of the night or characters from Frozen. Not to mention the accompanying adults who try to look bored but are happily reliving their childhoods vicariously through their children. This week, I have pondered the ritual of Halloween, and the ‘Trick or Treat!’ mantra that is spouted at you once you have given up hiding and decide to open the door. While giving out free food to other people and pretending to enjoy it is a hoot and all, it’s made me ponder over the decorum of the exchange.

Why, I wonder, do we have to remain hostage to the Trick or Treaters? Perhaps, just maybe, this could be the year that we turn the tide on this little festivity and play some tricks of our own.

It would certainly save us £5 and a trip to Tescos.

Some fun ideas for potential tricks:

  1. Return their ‘Trick or Treat!’ greeting by saying it back to them, hold out a bucket and look at them expectantly.
  2. Go all Home Alone and throw a fake tarantula at their face.
  3. As soon as you have shut the door, run out the back to next door and answer there too. Do this for the whole street.
  4. Give them a Bible and a short lecture about Satan.
  5. Release pet bats through the window.

If these don’t quite do it for you, the standard plastic turd in the place of a treat is better than remaining shackled to the front porch, reluctantly handing out sweets to strangers and their children. Or we can all just go back to turning the lights off and hiding behind our sofas.


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23/10/2018

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Ella Rowdon


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