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Let’s talk about sex, baby

Does betraying your partners privacy in the bedroom have the potential to ruin a relationship?

Let’s talk about sex, baby

When it comes to sex, we all know that there is such a thing as too much information. How much can you tell your friends about you and your partner’s sex life before they can no longer look your partner in the eye? It is a boundary that is both easily crossed and often difficult to define.

Betraying your partner’s privacy in the bedroom does have the potential to ruin a relationship, but sometimes things are just too outrageous not to share. What often determines how much you can talk about is whether or not you and your partners have the same friends. If your other half found out that you told all of your mates that you both did X, Y and Z last night, they might not be best pleased. If your relationship is very separate from your friendships however, it could be that you have more licence to spill the beans.

Many people in relationships like to think that they are more loyal to their partners than that, but are they? As soon as a conversation about sex begins rolling, it is hard to resist joining in. What makes matters worse is that the most embarrassing things to share about your partner are often the most awkward sexual encounters. These stories can stand as a clear threat to privacy in your relationship. They are the stories that are the funniest or the easiest ones to spill, including everything from performance issues and odd body parts to drunken experiments. It does not fall quite so easily into conversation that your sexual experience last night was overwhelming and beautiful, passionate and intense. Messy, dirty and weird stories get a quick laugh, but are not always particularly complimentary to your loved one.

Then of course, there are those people who do not share anything at all, or rarely do at least. Some people not only want to remain loyal to their partner in this respect, but also want to maintain an aura of perfection surrounding their relationship and sex life. It seems there is a level of expectation between friends that people in relationships will share certain details in conversation, but ultimately it is down to the people in the relationship to decide what is up for discussion.

If couples knew exactly what their other half told their friends, they would probably be surprised, but the chances are that both partners do exactly the same thing. Until it is harmful and offensive, it is mostly a bit of fun between close friends. In addition to some comic relief, talking with friends about your sex life can also be a great way to share any concerns or worries you may have about your relationship or health, and to get a second perspective on such matters. Whilst it is important to respect your partner, a lot of people still hold a strong sense of loyalty to their friends and make sure they share important or funny things with them. The balance between healthy relationships and strong friendships can be easily managed, as long as couples maintain mutual respect for one another.

05/03/2013

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lydiaclifton



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