To swipe, or not to swipe – that is the question. Knowing if it is okay to use dating apps while being in a relationship can be a headache if you do not communicate well with your partner and set clear boundaries.
Having met my current boyfriend off Tinder, we both have a relaxed attitude towards dating apps as both of us agree that we can use Tinder, providing that neither of us start chatting up other people. I rarely use Tinder now, but there are some days when boredom kicks in and I’m curious to see who is still on Tinder. My boyfriend and I still use Tinder because it provides us with some entertainment, which is laughing at the sea of cringeworthy profiles. Having been an active user since college, I can confidently say that there are plenty of try-hard profiles out there that I simply can’t take seriously.
The difference with how I use Tinder now is that I don’t go on it intending to like people. Otherwise, it defeats the point of being in a committed relationship as I would be using Tinder for its main purpose: to have sex with anyone I fancy. I there’s no point of Tinder if I’m not liking anyone, so I’ll admit that I’m not properly using the app anymore, but I know that my boyfriend is secure enough in himself to not panic about me looking at other guys. My philosophy for my relationship is this: you can look, but you can’t touch. I would be foolish to think that my boyfriend doesn’t find other girls attractive, but I trust him to know that he wouldn’t pursue them on Tinder.
The only time using Tinder has been slightly awkward is clarifying to friends that my relationship is still growing strong, despite them spotting my Tinder card. I think this exemplifies how easy it is to jump to conclusions and assume that a relationship is on the rocks if you’re seen on Tinder. The reality is, it’s fine to use dating apps while being in a relationship if you both agree it is harmless fun with no serious intent. Setting these boundaries with my boyfriend erased any potential guilt I may feel using Tinder if I hadn’t had that initial conversation with him.