Sex and Drugs Survey 2020

Orgasms: fake it till you make it

Quick confession to you, I’ve never orgasmed. To be truthful, I’ve kind of lost hope that I will. 

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve tried, with partners, by myself, it just seems kind of impossible. I’m definitely coming across salty here, but I feel deprived. Now, if that’s how I feel about it, how would the poor bloke feel (especially in a long-term relationship) if they felt that they couldn’t satisfy you? 

Another confession, I love sex. Not orgasming doesn’t make me want it any less, if anything it makes me want it more. However, when you’re single, it’s a little bit difficult to have good sex. When you’re with a partner, you’re comfortable, you want to try new things and most importantly, you’re not selfish. Foreplay doesn’t last for 5 seconds, and the sex lasts for longer than 5 minutes (my personal one night stand experiences). Honestly, I’d be surprised if the lad actually expected or wanted me to cum. One-night stands are for your own pleasure. The likelihood is you don’t care about whether the other person orgasms. 

However, when it comes to a long-term partner, and they’re actually trying to please and focus on you, and you can’t orgasm, what choice do you have other than faking it? You don’t. Unsurprisingly, guys are quite sensitive to the topic. Past experiences have taught me that when I couldn’t cum, my partner questioned himself. Having said that, this could easily be down to my poor choice of men.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with faking an orgasm but it’s a difficult problem. In a way, you’re lying to someone who trusts you but, in this case, the truth may be hard to stomach. 

11/02/2020

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