P-P-Put yourself first

Are you a ‘Perpetual People Pleaser’? Saying yes to everything even though you know deep down you should say no? Are you the one who always fits in with others’ plans, who doesn’t mind not getting their own way or who wouldn’t even send back the wrong coffee in a café if it meant upsetting someone?

The Perpetual People Pleaser (let’s call them PPPs) wants everybody to like them, is anxious to be accepted and ultimately ends up out of touch with their own feelings. The very thing they crave moves out of reach as people begin to take them for granted, or worse, not even ask for their opinion on matters because they know what it will be – the one that everybody else has.

This year, take a long, hard look at your relationships and your behaviour, and begin to put yourself first for a while. It may feel strange initially when you say no to doing your housemate’s washing up, or to buying another round of drinks at the LCR. You might feel odd saying no to the party on the other side of town which involves a long bus journey and possibly a taxi, but trust me – trying to please everyone only makes you more stressed and miserable in the long term.

Photo: US Federal Government
Photo: US Federal Government

Being a bit selfish allows you to stay in and watch films occasionally. It means that you don’t run yourself ragged organising the logistics of every social event or joining every society under the sun.

It doesn’t mean that you have to become a non-PPP (aka a grump or a kill joy!). It just means that you start to look after yourself a bit more. You start to consider your own issues and problems first. Once they are sorted, then you can look around to see if anyone needs your help!

PPPs have a nasty habit of becoming a bit annoying after a while, so flex your selfish side and you will feel more in control of your life, less tired and, as a result, happier. People will like you for you, and respect your ability to say no when needed.


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January 2022
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