Pillow talk: the wrong words for women

Language in reference to sex glorifies aggression, like it or not. Multiple times you hear the romantic cheering of youthful men wishing to “destroy her” or “smash her back doors down”. The poor souls seem to have confused a woman’s body with that of a shed. But wait my male counterparts, I am not here to attack you, us ‘sheds’ are equally at fault.

We have adopted the term just as much as the creative cowboys, referring to the trophy act as “banging” in equal capacity. Yet my naïve self does question how this language has emerged.
It is aggressive, that you cannot deny. To destroy, smash, bang. One cannot help but assume it has originated in a testosterone-fuelled mind. But listen, it’s all a joke, isn’t it? When we refer to sex in these derogatory terms, we women don’t specifically expect a destructive force to obliterate us. Maybe the language is held in such high regard to nurture the ego, so in bed, they are the Terminator.

We have let this language seep into normality. Why? Women perpetuate their own situation. Feminism cannot blame men for the whole debacle. Lad culture has become entwined with today’s culture as it is generally not challenged. There have been the few awkward, outspoken, challenging voices speaking out along the way, but these are perceived as too uptight to find the comic genius in it all.

The union bar has recently introduced the Good Night Out campaign. This teaches union staff – from managers to those who work in the cloakrooms – how to deal with sexual harassment complaints and to encourage those uncomfortable to speak out. Now there are campaigns in attempt to control such behaviour. It strikes me as sad. An issue as pertinent as sexual harassment in our generation has become so common, so ingrained in our culture, that campaigns have evolved. Why does our generation need to be taught something as simple as respect?

The campaign is progress, yet how much substantial change will it implement? We have to be careful not to point the finger at men as a collective, but recognise there are some individuals who view what many deem to be sexual harassment as pure entertainment. The majority of boys I have met at university have ample respect and disengage from such actions. However, we have alcohol.

Alcoholically fuelled situations seem to make such behaviour even more pertinent, and yet we are expected to care less because he was wasted.

Yes, I hear you. It is all a joke. The sheds have lost their sense of humour. If such language was aimed at your sister, even your MILF of a mother, how would you genuinely feel? An issue of respect has now been reduced to an issue of humour, and women are the butt of your joke.

“Banging” is no longer something you hear in a Western film, Grandfather.

We have modernised considerably.


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August 2021
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