Recently Played: Mount Your Friends 3D

Mount Your Friends 3D: A Hard Man is Good to Climb was released almost exactly a year ago, yet I only got to play for the first time in the last few weeks. The game, developed by Stegersaurus Software Inc, is a follow up to the 2D side scroller QWOP-esque classic originally released on Steam in 2013.

The 3D update to the game, however, is infinitely more fun. The premise is simple, you take it turns playing as athletes who are climbing on top of a goat, reaching as high as possible within a time limit. If you can’t set a new record height within the set time limit you’re out, and the last athlete standing wins.

Developers Stergesaurus call the game a great simulated sports-like experience of friend mounting, and added ‘Mount Your Friends 3D brings mounting to the third dimension, with the same classic innuendo that made you slightly uncomfortable back in the day.’

Like its predecessor and games similar to QWOP, the controls are intentionally quite clunky, at least at first, with players controlling each of the athlete’s limbs individually. However, the more you play the game, the more efficiently you can climb to the top.

The further you ascend the human tower of Babylon you create, the harder it becomes to reach the top, and often more competitive players will deliberately create overhangs or other obtrusions which can send you falling to the ground again.

It only takes a few rounds of play for the tower to become quite an impressive, daft, and – I forgot to mention – phallic. The athlete characters in the game are ridiculously stocky, hench men whose appearance can be customised, though all wear the same tight speedos showing off an impressive member which, despite not being a limb players can control, can be the difference between setting a new height record or not.

Mount Your Friends is hilariously stupid but very fun and addicting to play. Its mechanics are smooth, and there are a range of gamemodes I am still yet to play. The game is currently only available on PC through Steam, though its 2D predecessor is available on Xbox Live.

If you’re looking for some casual and ludicrous fun to play, especially around Valentine’s, Mount Your Friends is a good choice and I recommend you check it out.

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January 2022
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