Treasury minister David Gauke spoke to Andrew Neil on the 30 September’s Daily Politics about the government’s new Help To Work scheme, where long-term jobless proles, residing in work-deprived areas, are required, by law, to spend the entirety of their ever-decreasing state income of pennies and ignominy and on the daily travel to a Jobcentre Plus; once there, the intense activity of staring at a blank wall with no job cards can commence. This process is not yet carried out at gunpoint.

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Photo: The Independent

If the subject fails to meet the above requirements, for whatever reason the government could not care less about, they will be forced into thirty hours of Community Service, per week, for their dole cheque – with an additional ten hours ordered to be spent looking for a job. Of course the employer, for whom the subject is giving thirty hours a week to, does not have to pay for, nor encourage the creation of, new employees because hey, slave labour.

Neil asked of the Treasury minister: “Some of the poorest, most vulnerable people in society, and you’re going to take their benefits away, is that correct?” To which Gauke responded, with all of the eloquence and articulation that comes with being a senior government minister: “Well, er, ah, um… Yes.”

One can only wish that my spaced-out reaction to the interview could be effectively conveyed in print unto you, dear reader. Instead, I shall pose this question: we have real estate enriched to £132bn, the economy has a death sentence, and yet there is still time to drag the poorest over burning coals?

The Conservatives seem adamant to the point of Walter White-esque self-ruin to completely lose the next general election; any interest is certainly lost if they are brainstorming policies that would not be out of place in the manifesto of North Korea. Even the densest of Daily Mail readers must realise that they themselves could be unemployed at some point in the future… surely?